The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000-sq.-ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
     blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year-old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
     enough to rotate 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
     It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
      using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
      times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
      a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year-old boy can start a fire with a  flint rock even though a
     36-year-old man says they can do it only in the movies.

10.) Certain Leggos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old boy.

11.) Play Dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put into a swimming pool, you still
       can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCRs do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even  though TV commercials show
       they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.)  Always look into the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
        like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX, has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
boys, do it because:

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

Have fun Shaffers!