Saw this post on another board.  Thought you'd get a kick out of it:

Avoidance Behavior Lure - "Triggers an immediate feeding response!"
Strike King Suspending Wild Shiner - "Those lunkers can't resist!"
Rapala Original Floating Minnow - "Irresistable to game fish."
Rapala Shad Rap - "Big fish find them irresistable!"
Lucky Craft Flash Minnow - "It's almost more than a bass can stand!"
Scum Frog Bass Rat - "action that drives those hawgs absolutely crazy!"
Terminator Spinnerbaits - "Tie on a Terminator spinnerbait, and hang on for dear life!"
Ledgebuster Clearwater - "Drives them smallies and bucketmouths crazy!"
Mister Twister Tri-Alive Top Prop - "Drives fish nuts."
Uncle buck's Micro Spin - "Your ticket to landing boatloads of fish."
BPS 7" Popper Mouth Worm - "Fish find it irresistable!!
Berkley Bungee Baits - "irresistable to fish."
Gene Larew Mega Ring Lures - "Drives fish crazy."
Draggin' Finesse Worm - "Fools 'em every time."
Mann's Super Finesse - "Brings big bass runnin' from all directions."
Slug-Go - "Too much for lunkers to resist."
Zoom Meat Head - "Get ready for a smallmouth massacre!"

Wow. Well, there ya go. Nobody should need to ask what lures to buy ever again!!

Y'know, with lures that do what these do, it's a wonder that there's any bass left for us to catch!!

Hay Chuck, wheres ya been, missed you at the freeze-in, e-mail me sometime. VW