I received this message early this morning and thought I would share it with all of you.  You can see that O.D. & I have several things to do in order to comply with this directive & celebrate Christmas accordingly.


And a Merry Christmas to all!!
USMC Christmas MARADMIN

1. An official visit by MGen Claus, Santa is expected at this
headquarters 25 December 2008.  The following instructions will be in
effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit.

a. Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will
include indigenous mice.  Special stirring permits for necessary
administrative actions will be obtained through normal channels. Mice
stirring permits will be obtained through the Office of the Surgeon
General, Veterinary Services.

b. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to
2200, 24 December 2008.  Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, cotton,
light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap,
camouflage w/ear flaps.  Equipment will be drawn from supply prior to
1900, 24 December 2008.

c. Personnel will utilize standard field ration sugar plums for visions
to dance through their heads.  Artificially sweetened plums are
authorized for those in their unit Body Composition and Military
Appearance Program (BCMAP).
Specifications for this item will be provided by the servicing dining
facility.

d. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with care.
Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused
by carelessly hung stockings.  Unit safety Officers will submit stocking
hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800, 24 December 2008,
ATTN:  DCSLOG, for approval.

e. At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all Marines will spring
from their beds to evaluate noise and cause.  Immediate action will be
taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes. MCO
4623.03D (Saint Nick), will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing
and sash throwing.  Platoon Sergeants will familiarize all personnel
with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are
torn open nor window sashes thrown open prior to start of official
clatter.

f. Prior to 2400, 24 December 2008, all personnel will be assigned
"Wondering Eye" stations.  After shutters are thrown open and sashes are
torn, these stations will be manned.

g. The unit supply will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and
eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of MGen Claus' driver who, IAW
current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid
SF 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop
parking and be able to shout "On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and
Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen".

2. MGen Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys.  All units
without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during
ceremonies.  Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job
Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19
December 2008, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-in.

3. Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting "Merry Christmas to all and
to all a good night."  This shout will be given on termination of MGen
Claus' visit.  Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division
chiefs.

/x//                 CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE
                    Colonel, USMC
                    Commanding Officer, Special Services

Distribution:
Everybody Who Still Believes

Smitty

AKA Dune Hopper