I keep seeing on the news about the great Sockeye run going on so I thought I might dust off the old salmon gear & give it a shot. Here are some tips for you if you decided to give it a try.

First the gear you will need. Remember you’re catching Salmon so big gear = big fish.
1.      You need a pole but not just any pole .Go to your yard & cut down a tree, shave off the limbs & put some guides on it.
2.      Get a huge reel & spool it with some rope - we don’t want to break off these monsters
3.      Go to your car & cut the chrome bumper off.  You will need lot of flash to attract these fish
4.      1 red hook yes that’s it a hook no bait needed these fish are smart they don’t fall for those real looking baits.
5.      Go to a civil war supply store & pick up a cannon ball you’re going to need some weight to get that gear down deep where these monsters live
6.      Load up the boat & head out early 2am, 4am at the latest to get in line at the boat launch. Remember its not every day of the year you can fish for these guys, or any time of day even.  These fish only eat once a day, between 6 and 7 am..
7.      Drop all that gear into the water & start trolling nice & slow
8.      Now here is where the skill comes in (warning: this takes practice) Stand on your boat with your hands in your pockets stick your gut out as far as you can & stare off into the horizon.
9.      Etiquette: When passing other boaters you are to shrug your shoulders or throw up your hands & repeat the phrase “got any” or “where are they”
10.      After many hours of trolling you may snag a fish but in the event you don’t just proclaim to the boaters around you “damn game department doesn’t know what they’re doing”
11.      The excitement comes when you snag other boaters’ gear & break off all your stuff donating all the $$$ to the bottom of Lake WA.
   
Sounds like so much fun why would you want to go Bass fishing any time you want.

     I love the list.  Especially number 11 which unfortunately I am a vicitm of  .  When Sockeye opens every 2-4 years it is a zoo but I have six Sockeye in my freezer and eight more in freezers of my buddies.  Dinner last night consisted of one salmon fillet basted in a butter & Worcestershire sauce sprinkled with dill and another sprinkled with only brown sugar...mmmmmmm.  Not to mention the batch of smoked Sockeye I have been nibbling on.
     The one thing I question with the list is belief that it is boring.  I completely disagree, as you cannot buy a cheaper ticket than a $5 launch fee and be entertained nearly as much.  I put six fish in the boat in less than three hours and had the enjoyment of seeing several different species of idiots.  One interesting subspecies in the order of idiots, which are rarely seen as thier life expectancy is extremely short, were the "lets fit three big guys in a 9 foot aluminum boat and see if we survive" group.  What was particularly entertaining about them was the underpowered trolling motor they were using along with two paddles (not oars, paddles) for locomotion.  That was not the best part though, it was their amazing dexterity as they paddled with one hand and bailed with the other.  Now you can't tell me they are not athletes.  Oh did I forget to mention that none of them were wearing PFD's  ???.
     So in closing yes I agree it is a zoo but when it opens again in 2-4 years I will stand in line and happily buy my ticket to the freak show that is known as "Lake Washington Sockeye Fishing".   
     As a matter of fact I think I'll take some Sockeye out of the freezer for dinner tonight. 

Slimed in Seattle
Don B.